this week, in my brain (june 1-7)

Things you may have missed if you don't live in a little flat inside my head...

Sending e-mails (and snail-mails) to friends. 
Recently I took a bit of a break from social media, and in the wake of that felt the urge to try to reconnect with some friends that I had lost touch with. I think social media gives me a false sense of togetherness and when I stripped that back I felt lonely if I didn't reach out. So I did. When your work involves a lot of e-mail, I think you start seeing your inbox as a source of evil instead of a tool that can be used for your enjoyment. I've been loving chatting back and forth to these people, and am even about to send my first snail-mail off to Rosianna, who recently moved from London to Indiana. I thought I'd use that opportunity to practise the art of letter writing (I need a lot of practise). 

letters 1.jpg

Rowing machines.
I'm not too brave when I go to the gym. I tend to stick to the same-old machines. I won't even run on the treadmill (I had an... incident in high school that I'd rather not re-live). Anyway, this past week I tried the rowing machine for the first time. Never thought it would be for me, but I loved it, like was grinning like an idiot the whole way through. I think it's the combination of whizzing through the air which keeps me from overheating and this strange sensation like you're actually achieving something that makes it weirdly enjoyable. Plus it's meant to be a bit of an all-rounder of a workout and I wasn't even sore the next day. Plus it gives me Frank Underwood vibes.

My OG's of YouTube coming back and making me feel at home again.
I have no problem admitting that these days YouTube has been feeling a bit meh to me. I just don't have that excitement I used to, I don't feel as inspired by what is being made and I feel less optimistic about my future on the site. Obviously I have seriously lacked in making videos, but the whole subscription box issues and the "algorithm" makes me feel like people aren't being properly rewarded for their hard work like they used to. It's also hard to consider that maybe getting big on YouTube isn't really about talent anyway. BUT in the last few days some people who really inspired me to start making videos have been posting away, and making me feel like nothing has changed at all.  Marion posted this video of her and Rosi's Canary Islands getaway from last year and actually made me weep a little at the end (you'll see). Marion's videos are few and far between but are worth waiting for. She was one of the first YTers I saw doing something a little different with their videos who made me feel like it was possible to experiment with form on the site. I was also excited to see Jake Sidwell posting again. Lately his approach has been chatting very honestly in an intimate setting, and it reminds me of why I sought out YouTube in the first place - to feel an actual person to person connection. Lately things feel so polished and disjointed, and although it can be a good thing for entertainment's sake - it feels less real to me. It's also been so lovely to hear from Kayley and Kassie as well, who were some of the very first people to make me feel welcome in the YouTube community. 

Charlotte Tilbury.
Now on one hand, watching too many Beauty/Lifestyle YouTuber's can really make me wish for deeper pockets. But on the other hand, I feel like I have made way more educated purchases when it comes to beauty products. I love that I can scour the internet for reviews, demonstrations and swatches. In the past year or so, Charlotte Tilbury products have come up a lot and I got curious. (If we want to point fingers of blame - it's on the delightful Anna of ViviannaDoesMakeup who may truly be my biggest enabler). I'm all about a minimalist approach to a make-up collection but I found myself needing a new concealer and fancied a celebratory post-film-completion lipstick and low and behold I found myself at Selfridges. The people at the counter were wonderfully helpful (I usually tend to get 'aren't you too poor for this place?' vibes when shopping at Selfridges) and helped me test out "The Retoucher" in shade 2 Fair as well as her Matte Revolution Lipstick in "Bond Girl". Oooh. Packaging is delightful and the cherry on top is the brand is cruelty-free which is something I'm trying to consider more carefully when buying new products. 

Smoothies.
Rosianna has moved to America (sob) but before she left she handed over her blender (from such acclaimed YouTube videos as "Full on Vegan Smoothie Porn"). I had been lusting over a Nutribullet for months with the idea that smoothies would turn my life around but so far this blender has been perfect (also free - thanks Rosi). I've jumped enthusiastically on the smoothie bandwagon, having one for breakfast each morning and occasionally going for a second in the afternoon when I'm starting to drag (is two smoothies in one day a bit naughty?). I even do the kale. Yes. Here's my favourite recipe so far.

Meet Emily, A Feline Filmmaker.
I pretty much gasped when I saw this video pop up on my subscription feed. A cat named Emily who is a filmmaker? I had to look in the mirror to make sure that I was still in human form. So this cat named Emily isn't me, but she has a lot of the same feelings and struggles as I do trying to pursue a creative career. This film is cute and sweet and funny and so relatable. Yulin's work is fantastic and I shudder to think of the idea of her flying below the radar. Remember what I said earlier about people on YouTube not being properly rewarded for their hard work and talent? Seriously you need this woman on your subscription feed, stat. Subscribe here.

Eating my greens.
Now I'm not ready to say the "V" word because it's still early days for me but I've been trying out an entirely meat free diet the last couple of weeks. Removing the meat from my diet has freed up a bit of money which I've been spending on lavish fruits and veggies, and I think adding all of that to my diet has made me feel a lot better generally. I'm very new to this experience so obviously I'm still struggling with balancing my diet and trying to find ways to cook delicious meat-free food. River Cottage Veg Every Day has been an absolute lifesaver in this department.

Cereal Time.
I've been watching Charlie ready this new project for months and I'm so excited that it's finally almost here! Without spoiling too much - you can find the teaser here. The show kicks off tomorrow morning at 7:00 BST - so I highly recommend you click that subscribe button

New Form Digital Incubator launch.
Way back in November I started working on a new project - a short film called "Cold" which I was making as part of New Form Digital's Incubator Project. It has been a very long road indeed and as always with films, there are a zillion things I'd change about it if I could but generally speaking I am quite proud of this project. I had so much help from so many wonderful people and I can't wait to share it with the internet. You can see the series teaser here, as well as my little behind-the-scenes sneak peek with Mitchell Davis here. The film will premiere on my channel June 16th with a trailer dropping this Thursday. If you want to see it as it happens, make sure you subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

That's all for this week!